a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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