I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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