She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
