first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
