she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
