felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
In other news, I just burned my penis
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
