I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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