We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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