i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
