thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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