I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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