he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
