so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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