I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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