Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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