im about as happy as oj after his trial
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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