you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
