I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
