Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
