The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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