maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
