The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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