if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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