He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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