It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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