So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
