I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
