i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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