i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
