it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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