my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
