sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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