they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have already put on my inside pants.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
