well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
