booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
