He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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