I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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