Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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