I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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