my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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