what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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