8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
