Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
