ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
