i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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