I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
