I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
