Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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