why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
