I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Alive.
So much puke
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
