I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
