So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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