I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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